Will Rowe's post to Nancy Baker Roshi's article on The 5th Precept in Winter 2010

"As an alcoholic, who has been sober for 4 years next month, I was troubled by the strength of alcohol. I remember once leaving a one day retreat and feeling so much joy and peace, yet within 10 minutes I pulled over and bought beer. It was such a powerful compulsion. I was powerless, yet amazingly thought I had some measure of control since I could push my binge drinking off to the weekend. I was ignorant of the fact that I was an alcoholic.

Intoxication affected me tremendously on days I did not drink. The belief that we can indulge our intoxication, yet remain unaffected during the rest of the time is false, at least this has been my experience. My mind was very much affected by this poison. It is true with other intoxicants as well, be the intoxication of the body as those listed above, or of the mind like greed, hatred, or simply not living in the present. In fact, intoxication is a way of escaping the present moment.

Ultimately ego, this sense of self that I so need to protect and who so needs to be praised or feel above others, is the most demanding intoxicant."