From Zen Mind Beginner’s Mind, p 81:
Right attitude: To Polish a Tile ...
Zuikan was a Zen Master who always used to address himself. “Zuikan?” he would call. And then he would answer “Yes!” “Zuikan?” “Yes!” Of course he was living all alone in his small zendo, and of course he knew who he was, but sometimes he lost himself. And whenever he lost himself, he would address himself, “Zuikan?” “Yes!”
If we are like a frog, we are always ourselves. But even a frog sometimes loses himself, and he makes a sour face. And if something comes along, he will snap at it and eat it. So I think a frog is always addressing himself, and I think you should do that also. Even in zazen you will lose yourself. When you become sleepy, or when your mind begins to wander about, you lose yourself. When your legs become painful – “Why are my legs so painful?” – you lose yourself. Because you lose yourself your problem will be a problem for you. If you do not lose yourself, even though you have difficulty, there is actually no problem whatsoever. You just sit in the midst of the problem; when you are part of the problem, or when the problem is part of you, there is no problem,, because you are the problem itself. The problem is you yourself. If this is so, there is no problem.
Norman Fischer comment:
This practice is literal, and really useful. Call out to yourself, out loud. And then answer yourself. Although Zuikan did this practice in the presence of others sometimes, probably we would want to do it when we are alone. “Norman?” “Yes!” “Be awake, be aware, don’t goof off.” “OK!” If you do this, with sincerity, getting over your self-consciousness about it, I think you will find it a valuable practice. It really will cut through your dreamy self-knotting mind and bring you back home to your life.
So try this for a few days. It would be great to have some reports about what you experience when you do.
What Suzuki Roshi means about problems becoming you and therefore not being problems, is a little counter-intuitive, but in actual life really true. A “problem” is outside of you, it is not you, it is exactly some external thing getting in your way. You are over here, your object of desire is over there, and the problem interposes itself between you and your object of desire causing frustration. Even if the object of desire is something internal, like compassion, and the problem say, your selfishness, is also seems to be internal, the truth is, you think of it as external, as something not you. If I can return to where I am (“Norman?” “Yes!”), and feel the problem for what it is – not an external obstacle, but an experience, my experience, my life – then even though I may still have a problem to take care of, I no longer view it as a “problem.” It is just my life. Just something to take care of.
About Zoketsu Norman Fischer:Zoketsu Norman Fischer is a poet and Zen Buddhist priest. For many years he has taught at the San Francisco Zen Center, the oldest and largest of the new Buddhist organizations in the West, where he served as Co-abbot from 1995-2000. He is presently a Senior Dharma Teacher there as well as the founder and spiritual director of the Everyday Zen Foundation, an organization dedicated to adapting Zen Buddhist teachings to Western culture.
