I spoke about fear as an emotion that underlies many of our most difficult emotions and states of mind—such as stress, worry, anxiety, and various kinds of unease and tension.
Fear, anger, and sadness are often called ‘negative’ emotions and contrasted with joy, love, awe, gratitude, serenity, which are seen to be ‘positive’ emotions. A problem with speaking about ‘negative’ emotions is that it can lead us to think that they are in some way ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ and we need to get rid of them.
A more helpful way of viewing emotions is as states that give us useful information—anger, for example, lets us know that we need to take action to make something right; fear alerts us to danger that we need to deal with; sadness tells us that we need help or comfort. When we understand these emotions as natural and helpful, we can explore the most appropriate ways of responding to them so that they don’t cause us suffering or dominate our life.
These emotions can become problematical when we respond to a triggering situation or experience unconsciously or habitually and without awareness. I gave an example of someone getting caught up in ‘road rage’ and causing harm because their mind has been ‘hijacked’ by anger.
Exploring the emotion of fear, I distinguished two kinds of fear: The first is where there is an immediate danger that we need to respond to. This is present-moment fear, which we will respond to by doing what is needed to protect ourselves. The second is where our fear concerns something that might happen in the future—this is the kind of fear that Eckhart Tolle calls ‘psychological fear’ and that we are mainly focused on. Tolle discusses this second kind of fear:
“The psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now. You are in the here and now, while your mind is in the future. This creates an anxiety gap. And if you are identified with your mind and have lost touch with the power and simplicity of the Now, that anxiety gap will be your constant companion. You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection—you cannot cope with the future.’ (Tolle, Power of Now, p35)
After discussing ways in which fear can affect our life—for example, when they develop into phobias about going outside or encountering germs, or where we are caught up in intense stress or anxiety—I finished by discussing a four-step approach to working with fear:
1) Turn towards your experience and open fully to the bodily sensations and emotions that are present: Say ‘yes’ to whatever is present, welcoming the ‘guests.’
2) Bring awareness to the mind—the thoughts, narratives, beliefs that come up—and choose not to fuel them or identify with them.
3) Uncouple the sensations and emotions from the story or narrative, staying grounded in the body and emotions—opening to your direct experience here and now, rather than getting pulled into an imagined future.
4) Bring in the heart: Invite reflections of loving-kindness, compassion, equanimity, gratitude, or other state that helps open your heart.
When we ‘uncouple’ the present-moment bodily sensations and emotions from the stories and narratives, we break a link that often keeps us locked in suffering—where the fears about what might happen trigger more tension and fear in the body, which in turn leads to more fearful, stressful, or anxious thoughts in a vicious cycle.
Quotes: Viktor Frankl, ‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
The story of a horse and rider galloping along at top speed. Someone shouts to the rider, ‘Where are you going?’ The rider responds, ‘Don’t ask me, ask the horse!’ When we respond reactively to fear, it’s the ‘horse’ that’s in control.
Poem: Wendell Berry, ‘I go among trees.’
It was good to be with you today. Join us tomorrow at 7pm ET for a special Live session for Peace and Healing in the Middle East and in the World:
https://insighttimer.com/live/d7b85a6d-e122-4fcc-bac6-6a44e2f5f558 Our next regular Sunday Live will be on October 29 at 9am ET. Have a good week. Warmly, Hugh 🙏🏻 💜 🌻
