The near-enemy of love is attachment. Attachment masquerades as love. It
says, "I will love you if you will love me back." It is a kind of
"businessman's" love. So we think, "I will love this person as long as
he doesn't change. I will love that thing if it will be the way I want
it." But this isn't love at all--it is attachment. There is a big
difference between love, which allows and honors and appreciates, and
attachment, which grasps and demands and aims to possess. When
attachment becomes confused with love, it actually separates us from
another person. We feel we need this other person in order to be happy.
This quality of attachment also leads us to offer love only toward
certain people, excluding others.
--Joseph Goldstein, in /Seeking the Heart of Wisdom/
from /Everyday Mind,/ edited by Jean Smith, a /Tricycle/ book
