At tonight's sangha meeting I participated in a confusing discussion, an almost adversarial discussion between CCCC and me, with CCCC stating that they feel tonight's discussion around self-reflective attitudes on suffering doesn't really help them.” ... that “They are far more interested in how this practice can help the suffering outside in the world…out there as it were” ...that "they don't worry too much about how they practice mindfulness...eg, the minutiae of noticing their 'expecting mind'...(as I suggested is an important practice for moving me forward throughout the day); they said they dont need this angle on meditation support to notice their desiring mind...their mind of expectation...(I think they misunderstood the point about the nature of suffering, the benefit of non-judgmentally noticing The Desiring mind or noticing of the gaining idea) they said they are much more interested in alleviating the suffering of the world. And here's what's interesting about that to me: What is helpful about noticing the gaining idea? How subtle is it? How pervasive? I'm going to need to further articulate how to appreciate and explore the concept of the two kinds of suffering.
To wit: There are two kinds of suffering And the first kind of suffering that we all experience is The suffering that leads to more suffering for me and for you. --> If it's suffering for me there may be direct suffering for you of course, and in the case of your suffering and how it may impact me, your reaction to your suffering can create suffering for me. Looking at suffering in me, initiating in me, for a variety of reasons for example - If my suffering is an anger, a suffering of anger or blame or loathing, you could potentially suffer for that if I pursue blaming and loathing as my conditioned response.
And then there's the other kind of suffering that we are susceptible to and because of our human nature - we can choose to experience and process suffering in such a way that this suffering leads to the end of suffering... This kind of suffering is an intentionally chosen suffering in that i choose not to medicate, distract, or submit to externalizing the experience...but rather use it as a noble messenger, to observe it. Another way of putting it is that I can attempt to be 'empathic towards my future self'... make that fateful decision to cutoff the grasping for relief from this moment's discomfort in favor of relishing the natural change of all phenomena, including and especially my experience of pain and dukkha in this moment. This is unconditioned, and radical - also called ‘radical acceptance’....A very-hard-to-do kind of suffering but some practitioners say it's critical for my transformation, for the transformation of the suffering (the idea of ‘no mud, no lotus)... that is to say … an acceptance of the pain, to accept the pain... "this is how it is for the moment -- it will pass -- it is impermanent...To accept the mental confusion, to stay with the afflictive emotions (see Pema Chodron): the sadness, the fear… the afflictive cravings, said differently: those desires that when grasped only lead to suffering… that do not deserve to be grasped, the temptations --- And it is that second kind of suffering that leads to the end of suffering for me and for you..this is the suffering that serves our deepest aspiration; we become cognizant of the directions and choices we need to choose to feed the ‘good wolf’... for example...we listen to the negative self-talk, we notice if for what it is...thoughts and ruminations... and anxieties.. these are essentially food for the bad wolf (the two wolves parable) and we push back by bringing up..well, perhaps curiosity about how these are triggered...but not for even a moment carried away by them. lol, okay...well maybe only for a few moments...
