Live Session Summary, Sunday, April 21, 2024: It was good to be with you for our Live session today. The theme of the talk was “Making the obstacle the path.'
Here are some of the main themes, quotes, and poems:
In Zen Buddhism, it’s said that ‘the obstacle is the path.’ Rather than thinking that difficulties and challenges are something to be avoided or resisted, they can be a doorway to greater clarity, peace, and freedom.
Almost four centuries ago, the French philosopher and thinker Blaise Pascal said: ‘All of humanity’s problems come from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.’ There is much wisdom in this statement: When we are unable or unwilling to be present with what is arising in our experience—in our bodies, emotions, thoughts, reactions—we tend to try to escape from our experience or react in ways that lead to suffering for ourselves and others.
When something happens to us that is unpleasant or disagreeable—like being stuck in a traffic jam, being in conflict with someone, experiencing discomfort, or wanting something we don’t have—the story in our mind is very often that ‘this should be different’—this person, this experience, this feeling, ‘shouldn’t be like this.’
The problem, however, is when we struggle with how things are, when we come into conflict with reality, it is a cause of unhappiness and suffering because no matter how much we want something to be different, right now it is as it is.
• Spiritual teacher Adyashanti said: “We may think, ‘So-and-so shouldn’t have said that to me,’ but the reality is that they did. As soon as the mind says something shouldn’t have happened, we experience internal division. It is immediate. Why do we experience division? Because we are in an argument with reality. This much is assured: if we argue with reality, for any reason, we will go into division. That is just the way it works. Reality is simply what is.
… [T]here isn’t a justified reason to argue with reality, because we’ll never win the fight. Arguing with reality is a sure way to suffer, a perfect prescription for suffering.’ (Adyashanti, The End of Your World, p143)
The alternative to arguing with reality—wanting things to be other than they are; not being willing to be present with what is—is to turn towards the difficulty and accept this moment as it is. When we do this, we make the difficulty into an opportunity for growth and freedom.
• Eckhart Tolle puts it this way: “Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Always say ‘yes’ to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say ‘yes’ to life—and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.’ (Tolle, The Power of Now, p28)
When we resist any experience, we create division and suffering within ourselves. As Carl Jung said, “What you resist persists.” When you bring awareness to a difficult experience—without resistance or judgment—the feelings, thoughts, and sensations can come and go and cease to be a ‘problem.’
• Eckhart Tolle: “What you accept fully you go beyond.”
When we learn to stay with our experience, things become much less problematical because we’ve stopped resisting reality, we’ve ceased to throw fuel on the fire. We can welcome all our experiences, all the ‘guests’ in Rumi’s image. Then, difficult feelings, thoughts, and emotions can come and go in their own time. When we cease to resist what is, we allow life to be life. We can be at peace with all our changing experiences and, seeing that clinging and resisting lead to inevitably to suffering, we find freedom in meeting everything with acceptance and kindness.
Saying yes to our experience doesn’t mean passivity, doing nothing, or not trying to change anything. It also doesn’t mean we have to like what’s happening. We can take action to change what we can change—and when our actions come from acceptance of the truth, from non-resistance to reality, we bring peace and compassion into our engagement in the world rather than fueling division and suffering:
• Eckhart Tolle: “To be in alignment with what is means to be in a relationship of inner non-resistance with what happens. It means not to label it mentally as good or bad but to let it be… Does this mean that you can no longer take action to bring about change in your life? On the contrary, when the basis of your action is inner alignment with the present moment your actions become empowered by the intelligence of life itself.”
Other quotes and poems I shared include:
• Poet Rainer Maria Rilke: “If we only arrange our life in accordance with the principle which tells us that we must always trust in the difficult, then what now appears to us as the most alien will become our most intimate and trusted experience. How could we forget those ancient myths that stand at the beginning of all races, the myths about dragons that at the last moment are transformed into princesses? Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.” (Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet)
• Poem by Muhyiddin Ibn al Arabi, “There was a time…”
It was good to be with you today. Wishing everyone a good week ahead—and Happy Passover to those celebrating. And happy Earth Day tomorrow. See you for our next live session on Sunday, May 12 at 9am eastern. Warmly, Hugh 🙏🏻 💜 🌻
