Thinking about comments by two of my friends: they said they have more than enough books and knowledge about this practice. ‘I know enough now.—- What remains is to actually do the practice, actually do it.’
I understand the sense of that, and similarly I am probably well enough informed, Yet I think the point of additional learning or formal reading and involvement in the dharma teachings is to encourage myself. These serve as encouragement and inspiration to continue with the practice. However, it’s also probably true that sometimes I am hiding out or avoiding the practice by spending unnecessary time with readings and teachings.
K reflected on this topic, and pointed out that the 'experiential' learning is as valuable as the book learning. Yes...that makes sense especially since book learning is often an overview, a set of generalizations, and it is the personal and the specific that is the true teacher. Another person said it is both the Sangha, real in the flesh teachers, fellow practitioners and life as it is that are the most effective teachers and sources of guiding energy.
So how do I know when I am "actually doing the practice"? What is the measure of doing the practice? Do I need to have someone say oh clearly you are doing the practice. Or is it from my behavior that it’s obvious I have done the practice or I am transformed by the practice. Is it how I self present, present myself, to others? tranforming mud into a lotus?...heading off the reactive response. noting the suffering of the other and my own suffering...deep listening? Hey...look at the 5 Trainings and their statements of intention, their rigorous code of ethical behavior to know when I am authentically practicing.
How do I know discern mindful engagement with the present moment and my practice realization? Is there a meter or a gauge that can detect and measure it? A time clock? A stop watch for breathing meditation? There are no external boards of certification and licensing of merit and achievement. These questions underly a basic confusion: I am simply showing my grasping mind, my ego-centric grasping. Yes?
Maybe it’s simple. Maybe not. Maybe a matter of asking and continuing to notice ‘am I in my head about the past or future even as I read about the Dharm? am I feeling well-being and and what am I feeling and how will I choose to respond to these feelings?
