Here are some of the main themes, quotes, and poems:
I began by reviewing the Buddha’s heart practices (Brahma Viharas, or ‘divine abodes’): loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity, which are states of heart and mind that reflect an ‘attitudinal commitment’ of friendliness and kindness to all beings and experiences. (Christina Feldman, ‘The Boundless Heart’).
The Buddha said we should always live in one or more of these states, which are described as ‘boundless and immeasurable’ since there are no limits to how far they can extend or who can be included when we cultivate and deepen these states.
A helpful Buddhist teaching points to states that are the opposite of the four heart qualities—known as ‘far enemies’—and those that appear similar to the heart qualities but actually involve some form of clinging or separation—known as ‘near enemies.’
Far enemies of the heart practices are: 1) Loving-kindness: Far enemy—Hatred ; 2) Compassion: Far enemy—Cruelty; 3) Appreciative Joy (joy in another’s happiness): Far enemy—Envy; and 4) Equanimity: Far enemy—Aversion or clinging.
Near enemies of these four qualities are: 1) Loving-kindness: Near enemy—Attachment ; 2) Compassion: Near enemy—Pity; 3) Appreciative Joy (joy in another’s happiness): Near enemy— Happiness tinged with attachment (e.g., to ‘my team’); and 4) Equanimity: Near enemy—Indifference.
With each of the near enemies there is typically a resemblance to the genuine heart quality, but accompanied by an afflictive state of mind, like clinging, aversion, or judgment. So, indifference may appear like equanimity—e.g., remaining calm or unaffected amidst difficult conditions—but it incorporates distancing or separation from experience, or from the suffering of others. In the same way, pity may superficially appear like compassion, but involves separation, a sense of ‘above’ and ‘below’ or reaching down to another or others; and attachment may look like loving-kindness but incorporates an agenda of getting or expecting something.
The concept of ‘near enemies’ can be helpful in our practice in making us more aware when a genuine heart quality (e.g., loving-kindness, compassion, etc.) has shifted into a near enemy through lack of awareness or a habitual tendency of the mind—or where we think our intentions are wholesome but may contain a ‘sting in the tail’, for example, clinging or expecting something in return.
I concluded with a personal story involving a gift I gave on retreat that I thought was motivated by loving-kindness and generosity, but came to see the giving contained a wish or expectation about outcome—and what this experience helped teach me about the near enemies of the four heart qualities.
I shared a quote from Sri Nisargadatta, 20th century Indian spiritual teacher: ‘Wisdom tells me I’m nothing, Love tells me I’m everything. Between these two, my life flows’; poems, including ‘Small Kindnesses’ by Danusha Lameris; an excerpt from ‘There was a time I would reject those…’ by Muhyiddin Ibn Arabi; and some lines from ‘The Guest House’ by Rumi.
Wishing you a heart-opening week ahead. See you in two weeks, on Sunday, December 10 at 9am eastern for our next live session. Warmly, Hugh 🙏🏻 💜 🌻
