To
practice lovingkindness meditation, sit in a comfortable and relaxed
manner. Take two or three deep breaths with slow, long, and complete
exhalations. Let go of any concerns or preoccupations. For a few
minutes, feel or imagine the breath moving through the center of your
chest in the area of your heart.
Metta is first practiced toward oneself, since we often have difficulty
loving others without first loving ourselves. Sitting quietly, mentally
repeat, slowly and steadily, the following or similar phrases: May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease.
While you say these phrases, allow yourself to sink into the intentions
they express. Lovingkindness meditation consists primarily of connecting
to the intention of wishing ourselves or others happiness. However, if
feelings of warmth, friendliness, or love arise in the body or mind,
connect to them, allowing them to grow as you repeat the phrases. As an
aid to the meditation, you might hold an image of yourself in your
mind’s eye. This helps reinforce the intentions expressed in the
phrases.
After a period of directing lovingkindness toward yourself, bring to
mind a friend or someone in your life who has deeply cared for you. Then
slowly repeat phrases of lovingkindness toward them: May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.
As you say these phrases, again sink into their intention or heartfelt
meaning. And again, if any feelings of lovingkindness arise, connect the
feelings with the phrases so that the feelings may become stronger as
you repeat the words.
As you continue the meditation, you can bring to mind other friends,
neighbors, acquaintances, strangers, animals, and finally people with
whom you have difficulty. You can either use the same phrases, repeating
them again and again, or make up phrases that better represent the
lovingkindness you feel toward these beings.
Sometimes during lovingkindness meditation, seemingly opposite feelings
such as anger, grief, or sadness may arise. Take these to be signs that
your heart is softening, revealing what is held there. You can either
shift to mindfulness practice or you can—with whatever patience,
acceptance, and kindness you can muster for such feelings—direct
lovingkindness toward them. Above all, remember that there is no need to
judge yourself for having these feelings.
As you become familiar with lovingkindness practice during meditation,
you can also begin to use it in your daily life. While in your car, or
at work, or in public, privately practice metta toward those around you.
There can be a great delight in establishing a heartfelt connection to
everyone we encounter, friends and strangers alike.
